Emily (emily_73) wrote in etiquetteworld,
Emily
emily_73
etiquetteworld

I feel so angry about this...

A friend from highschool, Alice, recently contacted me and asked if she and a friend could stay overnight at my house after a cabaret peeformance in the city, as my house is closeby. I said yes, as I'm close friends with her and I had met her friend 6 months earlier at a party. This was organised the week before the night they were due to stay over.

Anyhow, the day came and I was expecting them to arrive about 8pm. At 2PM I received an sms message on my cell from my friend saying 'I'm going home after the performance because its my nephews birthday tomorrow, but is it ok for my friend to stay?'

I got the message at 4.30pm because I has been busy that day. I initially replied that it was fine for the friend to stay at my house. The longer I thought about it the less eager I was to accommodate someone I barely know.

I messaged Alice back at 6pm and said 'actually I'm not comfortable with this, can you please make alternate arangement for your friend to stay somewhere else?' I has also asked my boyfriend who lives with me, and he said he wasn't particularly happy with a stranger staying overnight.

I recieved a message back saying 'sorry, she has no family in the city...I would have made other arangements but I only remebered about my nephews birthday last night.'

I replied 'please make alternate arrangements. It was ok when both of you are staying, but if it just her I feel like I'm babysitting .. I feel really uncomfortable wirh this.'

anyway, she replied that that was fine, sorry to change the plans.

I ended up going to the stage show with them and took Alice out to dinner afterwards and even drove her into the city because she waa going to miss her train. we parted on good terms.

then...

2 days later I get a nasty email from Alice saying 'I can't continue this frindship unless I express my feeling about the other night. your behaviour was completely unacceptable. you should have accommodated my friend because you initially said you would. I called several hotels, all full. I called friends, all on holidays. eventually I called a friend who ageeed to accommodate her. everyone I called couldn't believe how ungenerous you are. all you had to do was offer her a shower and a bed, if you were feeling particularly accommodating. I can't reconcile you behviour with my values. '

I've condensed the email, it was about 1000 words describing just how unkind I am.
I felt like calling her and yelling 'how dare you impose on me then tell me off for standing up to you!'

I haven't replied. my oldest friend advised me to drop her and never speak to her again.

what do you think?
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