The Disgruntled Kat (kat144) wrote in etiquetteworld,
The Disgruntled Kat

More burning etiquette questions

First one happened tonight. I'm not sure if I did wrong here or not.

My partner and I went to a restaurant. As we were being taken to our table, we walked past a ledge where a bunch of napkin-wrapped silverware was stacked. My partner must've brushed against the stack and one set fell on the floor; I don't think he even realized it fell. I almost picked it up, but realized I didn't know what I would do with it if I did--I couldn't put it back in the clean stack, I couldn't just set it on a nearby table, etc. I figured I should let the employee standing right behind me pick it up as he would know where it should be placed/could take it to the kitchen, and I said "sorry" as he picked it up and went on to my table. I heard a girl at a nearby table say in a nasty tone, "they knocked it down and didn't even pick it up!"

I am still stumped as to what I SHOULD'VE done. I mean, the only thing I can think of that I conceivably could've done is picked it up and handed it to him, and maybe I should've, but that is the worst offense I can think of that I committed. I do not know how the rule of "if you drop silverware at a restaurant, don't pick it up yourself" rule transfers to if the silverware falls when you're not actually at your table (nor if that rule still applies, or if that's one of those "old-fashioned" etiquette rules that went by the wayside years ago). Unless this girl thought I should pick it up, carry it to my table, and...let it wait until our dishes were picked up, or...? I don't know. What would you all have done?

Also...what are the new rules on what women can wear to weddings (let's not talk about my annoyance that none of these fashion rules apply to men)? I don't even know anymore. I've been avoiding black clothing like the plague because I've heard you're not supposed to wear black (which sucks because let's face it: black is THE formal color, and a lot of nice dressy clothing comes in that color). Cue me at my partner's cousin's wedding reception last night, where I am looking around in dismay at all the women in little black dresses and bemoaning the fact that I went through so much angst to find something nice that WASN'T black (even the maid of honor wore a black dress). I mean, I'm sure the rules probably tend to apply differently based on the part of the country, and to some extent the actually wedding you're going to (some people are more laid-back about such things than others), but is there a "socially accepted" rule change on this that I don't know about? (If so I'd like to know. It'd make life a lot easier.) I'm sure white/off white are still out (how kosher is a white top with different color bottom, btw? I've heard mixed advice on this), but I'm not sure about other colors now--black? Red? Okay or not?
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